This post was going around on Tumblr, and I saw it, and I had to write something to go with it, because why even are people talking about justifying cheating on one’s partner/s?
(Yes, I mean that, that can be singular or plural, please read on.)
Here’s what I added:
Speaking as someone who was long-term cheated-upon and then dumped – if he or she or they cheats, just walk away and never go back.
Oh and tell everyone that he or she or they cheats, so everyone else can be protected from that person.
I thought I was allowing my ex-husband to be happy and be polyamorous. Turns out he was abusing the label and designation of polyamory to hurt multiple women at the same time.
Yes, that does mean exactly what you think that implies for me: I was abused by this man for a very long time. I was abused, and the other women he slept with were probably also abused, and I am going to bet that he will wind up abusing whoever he is currently with right now.
If he had actually been polyamorous, I would like to think that he would have put in a little more effort into taking care of his partners. Apparently and not surprisingly, that was beyond his ken. After all, he was only ever into the relationships for himself.
I am for polyamory but never will I be for cheating. I don’t want to hear about cheating being a morally valid choice. I don’t want to hear about normalizing cheating. I don’t want to hear about cheaters whining that they’re good people after all. I have heard those arguments and they are nothing but bull.
Take it from me: if you’re cheated upon, walk away and tell everyone you’ve been cheated upon. Oh, and yes, let the punishment fit the crime. Always.
Polyamory, sure, if it floats your boat and everyone is okay with it. But abuse? Never ever ever.
I didn’t know I was being abused till I got out. I know better now. I want to help. I want to talk about it. I want to fight it.